Did you know St. Patrick’s Day isn’t just a day to celebrate passive-aggressive finger assault? It’s also more than just a day to celebrate how efficiently your liver can function when your life depends on it! It’s actually a day to celebrate religion or something, but since I’m going through a rebellious phase, I don’t care about Religion anymore! 😎 Instead, today, we will talk about our top three choices for total SHAMS who totally ROCK!
The Lump Sum is only payable in Dave & Buster’s tokens. 💰 Think of what you can do with an extra TEN DOLLARS each year (Well, actually, after taxes, it’s only $6): • $6 would get you a five-dollar foot-long in 2010. • $6 could get you 6 McDoubles in 2008…
So pour one out for the true Legends of our Age: The Perpetually Tardy. And pour it into my mouth, because I didn’t get to the liquor store before they had closed, and I’d like some hooch. I’ll get you back later, promise. Trust me, you’ll get payback eventually!
“Hey, it sucks, but what can you do? The Boomers ruined everything, man!” Local Teen Zachary Aiden Lee said in between convulsing and foaming from his mouth. “The flavor’s not that bad (it’s not like they’re off-brand granola bars!), but you can definitely taste the difference.”