Evil Clown Spotted in the Woods, Terrorizing People By Breathing in Public

The CDC (Catch Dem Clowns) has announced a national crisis in your area. There’s a “killer clown” just outside your fence in the neighborhood woods armed with the most dangerous weapon known to man: a mouth that’s breathing openly into the outdoor air that MIGHT contain a virus.

This Is Hallobean

I am the one hiding on your plate,
You’ll all run and scream when I sublimate. 👻

I am the one that is good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you DART! (to a nearby restroom.)

How To Host The Perfect Halloween Party Even Your Grandfather with Dementia Won’t Forget

Serve severed-finger hors d’oeuvres so realistic that your horrified guests scream and ask if they’re real. Then you say, “No, of course not,” and claim they’re disgusting for even thinking such a thing because of course they’re not real, you’re just serving your guests realistic *imitations* of severed fingers, which is totally *not* gross. 🎃