Wichcraft

Wiches get stitches. 🥪

Company Dares to Send National Hamburger Day Email Without Coupon

The world’s largest hamburger, which was prepared in Carlton, Minnesota on September 2, 2012, weighed in at 2,014 pounds1, but not even 1 lb. of that was spared to provide a couple of Hamburger lovers with a free slider today.

#NationalHamburgerDay 🍔

Hamlet Act III Bean I

As Bill Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and this guy is probably going to jail for manslaughter.”

Irish Beans

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, ya big lugs! #IrishSunglasses ☘️ 🕶️

Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with this Classic Irish Recipe!

Prepare your potatoes and cabbage by placing them on the counter. You won’t even use salt and pepper or water. Don’t use utensils either! This is POTATOES AND CABBAGE ONLY. If you need to cut something, strike the potatoes against each other until you’ve yielded a knife, which you can then use to cut, dice, slice, and purée the other ingredient(s).

St. Paddy’s Day

Our premiere St. Patrick’s Day comic. ☘️

Senate Offers Choice of Lump Sum Stimulus or $10 Annuity for the Next 140 Years

The Lump Sum is only payable in Dave & Buster’s tokens. 💰 Think of what you can do with an extra TEN DOLLARS each year (Well, actually, after taxes, it’s only $6): • $6 would get you a five-dollar foot-long in 2010. • $6 could get you 6 McDoubles in 2008…

The Mean Bean Enquirer is Under Attack

A coterie of some of the most heinous personalities on the internet (and Jim Davis) came together to release a nasty hit piece on the Mean Bean Enquirer earlier this evening, and we will not stand for it.

REPORT: Economic Downturn Forcing Zoomers to Eat Store-Brand Laundry Pods

“Hey, it sucks, but what can you do? The Boomers ruined everything, man!” Local Teen Zachary Aiden Lee said in between convulsing and foaming from his mouth. “The flavor’s not that bad (it’s not like they’re off-brand granola bars!), but you can definitely taste the difference.”

Throw All Your Turduckens Out NOW!!!

I used to be just like you. I was poor, stupid, ugly, and fat. Now? I’m rich, intelligent, handsome, and JACKED. How? I’ve moved past the oppressive existence of “life” as a TurDucKen-eater. It wasn’t easy, but after eating my fifth TurDucKen in a week, I was getting a stomachache, dealing with severe nutritional deficiencies, and hadn’t been able to go poopy in nearly a month. Something HAD to change. So, I did what no one else had the chutzpah to do: I fought back.